THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE ARE ALL CUNTS:
Adrian Wood: because he is a cunt.
Mighty Maximal: shit.
Branch: GT3, bumsex, dreams, pointless SHIT about his life pasted into our faces as if we give a cunting FUCK
Bulmer: Week-old threads are DEAD. Also, dreams, Sonic, face.
Glyndwr: Why buy something useful when you can do it on a Linux server and make it not work quite properly?
Bevan: sentences are your friend.
Haloman: faceless and pointless goon. Shit.
Rev. Owen Alloway: likes too many shit things. Unspeakable badness.
Jammo: Smells. Hair. Scouse. Mardy shite.
"Studders": So boring that nothing he writes is even vaguely memorable.
Chris Buckley: special mention. Too much of a cunt to list it all here.
Hayn: works in Woolworths for fuck's sake.
Adrian Wood: again.
Bydlo: You can change your name, but you're still shit.
ALLOWAY: Now that I think, your sig joke was one of the worst things ever.
Andrew Gillett: McFuck.
doki: YOU WAIT LITTLE GIRL, ON AN EMPTY STAGE, FOR FATE TO TURN THE LIGHT ON. YOUR LIFE LITTLE GIRL IS AN EMPTY PAGE THAT MEN WILL WANT TO WRITE ON.
PSB: Looks like a mass murderer/pervert. Partially makes up for it by being amusing.
Hughes.: HELP! I NEED SOMEBODY. hELP! NOT JUST ANYBODY. hELP! yOU KNOW i NEED SOMEONE LIKE HUGHES.
Mentski: "Lady Madonna, children at your feet - wonder how you ever manage to make ends meet." The evil mother of the newsgroup.
Dave Deans: Communist Eminem-lookalike. Irish gypsy scum. Probably.
Matthew Garrett: Here is a baby from up above. Straight from heaven, for you to love. Sign here please. Geeky in a more agreeable way than Glyndwr. This still doesn't make it quite right, though.
Mike Jenkins: The wonderful thing about Tiggers is tiggers are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber and their bottoms are made out of springs. The wonderfullest wonder thing about tiggers is Mike Jenkins!
alfatek: More of a hahs person than an a.d. person, so there's not much to say here.
Tinman: You called Mike Jenkins a newbie, and no-one will ever forgive you for this.
zygotes: I NEED LOVE, LOVE, TO EASE MY MIND. I NEED TO FIND, FIND, SOMEONE TO CALL MINE - BUT MOMMA SAID YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE :(
Xz: I know someone who looks like Xz, right, and he got beaten up by a gang of skinheads after shagging one of their 13-year-old sisters. Then he got put in jail for it. Or for something else. Hopefully he's still in there getting RAPED every day for the rest of his miserable existance. (And he was horribly bald by the time he was 19)
Stuart: I have no idea which Stuart this refers to. You're all great/shit.
Mike Chamberlain: I'm the king of the swingers, oh, the jungle VIP, I've reached the top and had to stop and that's what's bothering me. I WANNA BE A MAN. Mike really is the king of the swingers.
jAMES gREGORY: Wanted to be in the Navy; also a cider drinker. This says it all, frankly.
Boggis: Dr., my arse.
Tricky: Another faceless nobody.
Michael Williams: Michael Williams is ginger, amusingly arrogant, quite the geek and smells.
Robertster: Should have stayed in ADS.
Simon Nash: Looks like someone who would have immense B.O. problems, for some reason.
James Lyon: We don't give a fuck what you buy in a shop, and we certainly don't need to know about every time you leave the house. Get some proper friends.
favus: You are a cunt. Cunt. Cunty cunty cunt. Fucking cunt. You are a fucking cunty cunt cunt. Cha!
Samuel Downey: I was dreaming of the past, and my heart was beating fast. I began to lose control. I BEGAN TO LOSE CONTROL. I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU, I'M SORRY THAT I MADE YOU CRY. ps who is Samuel Downey?
Derek Jolly: On the basis of his surname alone, must look like some kind of snowman, wearing the sort of clothes that only Friar Tuck can get away with.
Daniel Thornton: Knows only slightly less than Kenneth "Kenneth" Kenny Hutchings. Recently made a bold move into the 1990's by buying a PC. For fuck's sake. Soon expected to discover the joys of both Quasar and the SNES.
BennyX: I'm in the mood for dancing - ROMANCING. I'm giving it all tonight. Even a search on Google reveals nothing interesting to write about BennyX.
Shaun Lucas: Lucas, you PAIN me.
Kenneth Hutchings: WE DON'T CARE.