CAMFIELD, TOM Manages to hate and love alt.digitiser in equal quantities, by disliking the off-topic stuff, and loving the on-topic stuff. Only memorable achievement was reminding me that he organised the recent BEST GAME EVER poll, that was surprisingly well responded to.  Promptly disappeared, BREAKING THE LINK TO THE OLD BEST GAMES EVER LINK AS HE WENT.  Cunt.

CAMPBELL, STUART Ex-Amiga Power editor, posts the same kind of inspiringly controversial articles to alt.digitiser that he has become famous for in his "Panel 4" column on Digitiser, always causing a split between the Campbell-lovers and Campbell-haters. The aftermath of such articles invariably starts personal vendettas between people of the opposing factions. This guy is king. Recently left the newsgroup in dramatic and typically provocative style near the start of the feersome FLAMEFEST2K, his primary reason appearing to be that alt.digitiser has posts in it which contain phrases like "MOHH" and "YOUR GAY", rather than being entirely concerned with Digitiser. This is either a fair point or ruinous twaddle, depending on which side of the Campbell "fence" you fall.

CHAMBERLAIN, MIKE Created and originally maintained this site. Now gone. Stolen description; "Chambers ain't here no more. He's off -businessing it up with the best of them (ie Martha Lane-Fox). Even if he was, he'd take a week to reply, since Chamberlain is about as reliable as...a mobile phone in a rural area when it's pissing it down with rain and you need a taxi." Made a sudden return to AD very recently (i.e. yesterday) because he was "bored". -business is clearly not as fun as the media would have us believe.  Comes and goes with the ebb and flow of boring summer holidays, or something.  A reliable source informs me he is currently wandering around Australia. Still, at least it's not India, so I won't call him a cunt.

CHARING CROSS BRANCH Long time poster to alt.digitiser, still remains as Canadian as ever. A connoisseur of Japanese tentacle pr0n and flight simulators, Branch can - in his more reflective moments - also be seen advocating clit-diddlage in fit females. Announced a quest to find a new AD nickname a while ago, and is currently using the not-hugely-inspired "Branch-me-do" until a suitable "handle" presents itself. Also appears to have exhausted his supply of "Best X in a game ever" topics, which is a bit of a shame, as they were often the only AD on-topic stuff that was actually any good.  Went away for a while and has now returned (hoho, I'm going to be regretting that statement when I update next year), with added GAMES RANTS.

CORNER, SOBBING AND WNACKING IN THE A fire requires three things to burn - heat, oxygen and fuel.  Similarly, when you bring together sobbing and wnacking with a corner of the room, you wake up in hospital covered in (admittedly friction) burns.  Sobbing and wanking in the corner was an activity the regulars were alleged to partake of by Hyp3rknight and his terrible army of NEWBIE SCUM.  Boy, didn't they fuck off quickly, unlike their delightful catchphrase, which we stole because it was so hilarious.  Not because we sob and wank in corners, no.  The same group of SCUM were also responsible for "Unfuck yourself", which caused many injuries when we tried to COMPLY.

CREATION alt.digitiser was created in March 1998, and has gone through patches of goodness accompanied by patches of badness. It has a reported readership of 2 million (a lie) and has been frequented by many industry insiders, both media and technical. Not that you'd guess from most of the absolute drivel.

CROSS POSTS The art of simultaneously posting one message to several groups. The kind of thing you'd expect Microsoft to have created as a "good" extension to a standard, but annoyingly a real standard. Annoying because cross-posts invariably attract NEWBIES to the group. An art form at one time favoured by STUART CAMPBELL, although thankfully he seems to have now abandoned it.

CTHULHU Agreeable chap, his posts are usually worth reading. Nothing is known about him, except that his real name is Steve.

CUNTS PAGE, THE Created over a year ago, the CUNTS PAGE still lives on in the hearts and minds of alt.digitiser.  The only people who aren't on the cunts page, are the ones who weren't here when it was written, because nobody could be bothered to do a proper update which wasn't simply a stream of abuse (COMPLETELY unlike this update, yes, CUNTY).

CUSSING Most of alt.digitiser seems to be about cussing each other. That's because we're all testosterone filled males with inferiority complexes. Except for the females, obv. Who. Aren't.