NAB Annoying Nintendo fanboy (his name is an acronym of "Ninty Are Best") who arrived in alt.digitiser from a CROSS POST and steadfastly refused to leave, despite being universally hated almost as much as KEN. Appears to have vanished for now, but memories of his weekly Sunday afternoon arguments with CAMSHAFT stick in our minds like the image of a headless cow with the face of Cilla Black attached to its anal passage. Returned after a short break, and behaved in exactly the same irritating manner. Finally, his spirit broken, he promised to leave if there were ten requests for him to leave posted in one hour. About fifteen turned up. And several of them were from people who'd never posted before, proving that it wasn't just AD-regular elitism that caused us to hate him. Now apparently posts in the* hierarchy under the pseudonym 'CJA'.

NAME CHANGING Bored of people knowing who you are whenever you post?  Why not make up a "comedy" posting name every 5 minutes and use that instead, meaning nobody can ever work out who the fuck you are until they have closely read the headers, or downloaded the message and read the sig.  It's real fun, and not in any way FUCKING ANNOYING, so unsurprisingly MARK WILLIAMSON started it.  Currently also employed by LEE PRINCE and to a lesser extent by others, who tend to spoil it by using names having something in common (see TOM SCOTT.)

NASH, J Best writer of all things ever.  EVER.  Look here.  Bydlo/Festoon levels of non-story finishing on show.

NECROPHILIA One of the more pleasant topics discussed on alt.digitiser, we have a large team of committed necrophiliacs.  The rotten cunts.  Ahahah!

NEWBIES alt.digitiser hates newbies. Mostly. It has been proven that 99% of newbies are beyond the known realms of crap. Sometimes they are good, in which case they are welcomed, but like I say, most are crap. Nobody is sure what possesses these people to come to an otherwise unmolested newsgroup. Sometimes we get by without newbies for weeks, then, like buses, 1000 come along all at once, except they're all the wrong number and you DON'T WANT THEM. AT ALL. Reading the FAQ may help them. Featured heavily in FLAMEFEST2K.  If you absolutely MUST be a NEWBIE, FOR FUCKS SAKE, LURK BEFORE YOU POST.  Despite the group's open hatred of newbies, we spend most of our time stealing things they have said in a fit of PINK RAGE, and using them as catchphrases.  See also: RAMP.

NEWSGROUPS On the last count, Digitiser had spawned 7246 newsgroups, 7245 of them empty (including "classics" such as and or something like that). Many of the regular posters also have the dubious honour of having one named after them (such as alt.digitiser.nick.mooney.we.cuss.him.bad). It goes like this: alt.digitiser gets crap for a bit, someone thinks it'll be a good idea to create a newsgroup with the name of the latest made up Digitiser character, it gets a flood of 7 posts, no one ever posts there again, and they vow never to create another Digitiser newsgroup. Long ago a bitter WAR was fought in the long abandoned group, proving once and for all that if we weren't going to use it, no bunch of DIGIMON fanboys were going to.

NTK A weekly email update, written with more cutting sarcasm than a very sarcastic thing. A number of the alt.digitiser regulars have had namechecks in this most wondrous of publications, including MENTSKI and DANIEL THORNTON. CHARING CROSS BRANCH's DISTURBANCE8 site has appeared in NTK's hallowed text, while MARK WILLIAMSON featured in an issue after discovering some blatant lies on behalf of GREMLIN'S PR department.