GAMES Despite being the semi-official newsgroup of a daily videogaming magazine, you will find surprisingly few posts on the subject. The most popular first message by any poster is "U guys SUXXXX!!!!!!?? get a fuCkInG L1F3!!!!!! havnt U got n0thing better 2 DO than p05t shit 2 tHis NeWsGrOuP????!!!???", presumably highlighting his point by doing just that. More relevant, however, is the second most popular first message, along the lines of "Is this the newsgroup for Digitiser on Channel 4? I thought you'd talk about games, not toilets and poo and necrophilia."

GARRETT, MATTHEW J. (aka Fluffy Cat) Infrequent poster, but the God of #DIGI, as he is always there. Goes to Cambridge University and recently made an Honourary Mighty Being by STUART CAMPBELL, so I expect that means we should all respect him. Or not. A known subversive, he has resurrected the Amiga emulation site Lazarus, flying in the face of sinister lawyer types.  Jesus fucking christ, most of this site reads like a fucking snapshot of three years ago.  That's been and gone, probably forever this time.  WORSE THAN GOSSI AND HIS OPENSOURCE ULTRAHLE FFS.  Garrett is now involved in something called DASHER, which he WHORES OUT TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN.  I mean FOR FUCKS SAKE, one of my ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriends has heard of it.  NOBODY FUCKING CARES.  Except it was vaguely interesting and people did.  Matthew's favourite game is FINAL FANTASY 8, and he never ever shuts up about it.  Ever.  When he's not doing that he's trainspotting.  We'd forgive him, but he's a Linux user.  N.B. Some, none or all of the above may be true.

GERMAN SERVER, THE A lot of people's ISPs have an absolutely dismal newsgroup service (NTL immediately springs to mind) which tend to lose all posts from alt.digitiser if they carry them at all.  You can instead sign up to the infamous GERMAN SERVER.  No, you won't turn into a NAZI.  Yes, you will be able to post to and read alt.digitiser without having to resort to the web-based horror of GOOGLE GROUPS.  Sign up here.

GET OUT OF MY NEWSGROUP Another MENTSKI created phrase. Generally coupled with STOP BEING SO SHIT and almost always directed at NEWBIES when they make horrendous mistakes which result in us all wanting them to leave.  Usually replied to with "nobody owns a newsgroup", which is then traditionally replied to with "GET THE FUCK OUT, YOU ATROCIOUS LITTLE CUNT."

GILLETT, ANDREW R. Despite having a name similar to Gillette, Andrew has ironically never shaved in his life, and thus has a beard that is almost thrice the bushiness and area of GLYNDWR'S. If you can imagine such a thing.  Works for Frontier Developments (or did, anyway) and won't tell us when Elite 4 is coming out.  I'm sure he'd love it if I made a "best a man can get" comment right about now.

GLYNDWR It's hard to explain Glyndwr in one word. Actually, no: "computer" (or "beard") - as he seems to know everything there is to know about them (computers, that is, not beards). Or at least he thinks he does. He never actually seems to get round to doing anything actually constructive with them though. Why do something useful with a PC when you can do it on a Linux server and make it not work quite properly, eh? Has presumably fitted an outboard motor to his bed and drives it to work following the same rationale.  From his humble NEWBIE beginnings, to his current, recently resumed status of posting at least five times an hour during the day, Glyndwr has made no secret of his geekier tendencies, a fact that - combined with his Biffo-irritating participation in FLAMEFEST2K - means he can honestly claim to be the ultimate inspiration behind and daily execution of Digitiser's famous Computer Boy. The Welsh cunt. Arch enemy of JAMMO.

GOATSE.CX You have to see it to believe it.

GOD (not actually God, like up in the sky and that.) Now long gone, some regarded this being as a genius. However, most of us thought that he was an illiterate fool who made no sense at the best of times.

GOOGLE, 21 YEARS OF USENET AT Now whenever anyone posts anything that has been posted before many, many times, or even just once (for example, "MR BIFFO IS LEAVING" or "TALKSHOWHOST IS A CUNT") due to the horrendous 20 YEARS OF USENET AT GOOGLE (now 21, probably approaching 22) DEBACLE they are shouted down with 21 YEARS OF USENET AT GOOGLE, CUNTY.  So there you go.

GOOGLE GROUPS Remember DEJA.COM?  They don't exist any more, so their entry has been DELETED FROM HISTORY, leaving just a link to this entry.  However, the years of newsgroup archives availible on weren't lost, because they were bought by popular search engine company Google.  Google's first act was to abolish all functionality by removing the interface.  Their own interface was then slowly constructed over a period of a few months, eventually restoring almost the same interface as had used but with Google logos on it.  Politics aside, Google Groups can be used to read old newsgroup posts and gain amusement at the past shitness of current AD regulars. A more sordid and DIRTY use is to search for your own name to see if people are talking about you (See MR BIFFO).  Recently Google have gone one better and added archives stretching back to May 1981, causing a torrent of people posting to AD and indeed every other newsgroup that Google have added 20 years of newsgroup postings.  How this is relevant to AD, created in 1998 and therefore having its complete life archived on Google and Dejanews before it, is uncertain.


GREGORY, JAMES Posts a lot of good stuff to the group, so much so that I can't remember anything he's ever said or done, other than he likes riding his bike and posing in front of his webcam. Also responsible for gathering a collection of AD photos into WHY YOU SHOULD NOT USE USENET. Currently at Yr0k University, where he does... something.

GREMLIN Long-serving (originally) British software house. All of their games are excellent, particularly WACKY RACES, which is the BEST GAME EVER. According to their PR people, who went to the lengths of creating false news accounts at Deja to post how much they loved the game when the entire group mentioned that it was shit.  Notable for attempting to discredit STEWLARTS' review of said game by accusing him of being sacked from a cleaning job at Gremlin for stealing toilet rolls.