THOMPSON, JAMES Apparently he's been posting in alt.digitiser almost since the dawn of time. I haven't noticed. Not that he's not memorable or anything, it's just that I've forgotten everything he's ever done.

THORNTON, DANIEL Responsible for The Wibble, DJ Thr0n has been a consistently consistent poster on AD for, ooh, ages now. Except: no longer, as he steadfastly refuses to use DEJA.COM (now Google, LOOK, I'VE UPDATED YOUR ENTRY NOW, I'M NOT IGNORING YOU) to post things from university. Edited and maintained this site after the Age of CHAMBERLAIN and before control was passed to RICHARD FAIRWEATHER in a bloody Communistic coup. Uses an AMIG0R, but we won't make an appallingly shit joke about not holding that against him. The fact that he likes Punt and Dennis, however, is another matter entirely. PS: Daniel Thr0nton is a ("Ladies' genitalia" - Ed.)  SEE, I CAN DO INOFFENSIVE.

TOILET HUMOUR By far the most popular topic of discussion is poo and wee and stuff. Especially in poem form. Ask about the Christmas Tree leg story as well.

TINMAN Don't know much about him, except that he likes cartoons, and has proved this point admirably through sending thousands of fucking posts on the subject to alt.digitiser, usually in conversation with CHARING CROSS BRANCH.  His darkest hour was denouncing MIKE JENKINS as a NEWBIE, ages ago.

A fundamental error committed by most NEWBIES, top-posting consists of replying to somebody by simply plonking your words on top of theirs, making no effort whatsoever to maintain a conversational flow in the discussion for everyone who has to read it. This is quite obviously a horrendously illogical Bad Thing, yet pointing this out to errant newbies inevitably leads to whining accusations of alt.digitiser being entirely comprised of pathetic anally-retentive geeks (despite top-posting clearly being regarded as bad form on Usenet in general), cries of "Nobody tells me how to do things" and tears before bedtime in general. Such whinging shitness is water off a duck's back to AD, of course. The wrong-headed belief that lurks in the minds of top-posters that they aren't doing anything wrong can perhaps be mostly laid at the door of Microsoft, whose Outlook Express "communications" behemoth has an alarming tendency to encourage top-posting due to where it places the cursor when you attempt to reply to something. Although, of course, the supposition that persistent top-posters are just plain shit is similarly valid.

TOYAH toyah surprised us all by being a real girl, which shocked us no-life Usenet males, particularly after the GEMMA D incident. Once invited her "boyf" into the group, with hilarious consequences. Because he hated us. Her "boyf" is no longer her "boyf", so the incident is unlikely to reoccur. Shares BULMER'S rodent fetish, except she is more turned on by rats than hedgehogs. Leads a secret double life as #DIGI's resident spy from #bubblegun. Will kill you if you spell her name with a capital letter, yes, really. Is an honourary member of the PR0T DIVISION.

TRAINS Hello, I like trains.  I think they're pretty cool.  Do you like trains?  Will you be my friend?