DAWES, ROBERTSTER Everybody loves Robertster Dawes, even his Mum. Outcast of alt.digitiser.snakes because his news server stopped carrying it. So now he annoys us instead.

DBSNAPPA Middle aged photographer, who writes his posts like he’s a 14 year old moron. Might be Welsh. Loves to tediously reel off names of C-List celebrities he's met. Responds to every post about Glyndwr and Branch to let us know that he's met them in real life and knows them and everything. Possibly a former coke addict. For examples of DBSnappa’s work, see GOATSE.CX

DEADJOURNAL Site that allows people to upload "blogs", informing us of every little tedious fucking event of their life.  MIKE JENKINS has come up with possibly the best explanation of them so far:  "here is my deadjournal,  1. NOBODY CARES 2. END 3. I AM A LESBIAN".  Approximately half of alt.digitiser regulars have at some point deadjournalled, and a fair few still do.  You know, THE ONES WITH NO SHAME.  That isn't a link, by the way, STOP CLICKING.  And that one.

DEANS, DAVID (aka PAndroid, Androidfearsatan) Once one of alt.digitiser's most prolific posters, even going as far as to make a joke. Famous for his morose, considered style and love for Radiohead. His leaving message gave a mention to just about everyone apart from MIKE CHAMBERLAIN. Now back and as melancholy as ever.  Except he isn't back at all, he's FUCKED THE FUCK OFF AGAIN.  These people with their "real lives" SICKEN ME TO THE CORE.  Taunted by Garrett for failing to get into Cambridge and become an official cunt.

DENNETT, STUART Scouser, famous for his black jeans. Designs web pages and other stuff. Been posting to alt.digitiser for ever. 

DERVISH, KEN If Mr. GERRY ROSS hadn't been born, not only would the world have been 3% better, but Ken Dervish would also hold the crown for King of Mess Ups. I'm not sure how anyone can be so wrong so much of the time, but Ken manages, in his aggressive, whinging, whining style. MORE OF THIS, PLEASE.  IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN, HE LEFT YEARS AGO.  JESUS CHRIST.

DIGIMON Abbreviating Digitiser to Digi has occasionally caused problems with Digimon fanboys, who abbreviate things to digi.  The problem being they are all fans of a toy which started life as a Tamagotchi rip-off, and then when Pokémon took off "digivolved" into a bit of a Pokémon rip-off instead.  The most famous run-in was over the completely dead and empty alt.fan.digi, which the digimon people attempted to take over.  This disgraceful lack of respect for one of Mentski's newsgroups lead to an all-out WAR, predictably ending in  appeals to ALT.CONFIG, and the victory of alt.digitiser.

DIGITISER Cultish (that says cultish) Channel 4 Teletext (ex-p175, if you must know) daily videogames magazine to which alt.digitiser was originally dedicated when it was created. You know, before we got fed up of saying "STAY AWAY FROM MR T'S BINS LOL" to each other, and moved on to "MOHH". Written by the notorious drug runner and journalist PAUL ROSE with contributions from some guy called Udders. Most of the content is presented by one of numerous cartoon characters / celebrities (Computer Boy, Fat Sow, The Beetles, Zombie Dave). Good. It was. Yes. Official Digitiser website link at bottom.  Except not, because Digitiser was destroyed when Mr Biffo decided that he was fed up writing using a load of crazy characters with hilarious catchphrases and instead decided to go and write Eastenders instead. A VICTORY FOR ALT.DIGITISER, then.  Or not.


DILF Mad female woman type who occasionally works up the courage to post, normally being denounced as a SHIT NEWBIE by anybody who is to hand at the time.  Anyway, more of a DEADJOURNALler than a a.d. person.  To find out why I bothered at all, see WOMEN.

DISTURBANCE8 Scarily accurate RIOT 9 parody, right down to it originally being created in about 24 hours. Is now much more than a parody, as it now has porn. Created by CHARING CROSS BRANCH.

DONAVON, GEMMA (aka Gemma D.) Famous hoax by CRAIG HUGHES, the "beautiful" Gemma claimed she was a female games players with a life and that she would not shag anyone in the newsgroup, which meant we may have had a lucky escape, I suppose. Killed off by Hughes at the moment of the discovery of the hoax, she now regularly surfaces as ZOMBIE GEMMA, a bit like Zombie Dave, but a lot more good looking.

DOVE, JIM Genius. That's all I know. Recently returned to AD after an absence of quite a long time. Left again after one day, hence genius.

DO YOU SEE? The famous phrase invented by MR. BIFFO on Digitiser has become like a National Anthem for alt.digitiser, except a lot shorter, and with no tune, and with nothing about the greatness of our country. So nothing like a National Anthem at all, really. Idiot. Recent allegations by Mr Gay Huges suggest that the phrase may not have originated on Digi as previously thought; "the aforementioned phrase was not in fact first popularised by cuddly MR. PAUL ROSE, but by scary Thatcher-esque dog trainer, Barbara Woodhouse during the early 80's when she had a Television Programme informing us how to commit crimes that would normally be investigated by the RSPCA and get away with it by calling it training."

DREAMS Despite being unofficially affiliated with the nation's most read games magazine, the regulars of alt.digitiser rarely talk of it, or of games. They much prefer to make long posts detailing the exciting things that happened in their dreams the night before. Dream thread king is DAVID BULMER who tells us of at least two of his dreams every week, closely followed by CHARING CROSS BRANCH.  Luckily, dream threads have dissipated over time, something we should all be thankful for, as they were extremely fucking tedious.

DYSWIDT? Lee & Herring endorsed phrase that has been embraced by alt.digitiser. A descendant of "DO YOU SEE?", this should be used after something amusing has been said, in order to ram home the point that the poster has said something funny that you may be too stupid to have noticed. Oh, and you work it out.